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Assurance, Infant Baptism, Singleness, Alcohol, Union With Christ, & Demons | Q&A With Rev. Joel & Mary Beeke (Part 1)

Abide was blessed to have Rev. Joel Beeke of the Heritage Reformed Church speak at a 2021 Retreat at Forest Home Retreat Center in California. The theme of the retreat was “Union with Christ & Christian Unity”. The following information is a summary of the questions and answers. For all the videos from the weekend, click here for the full playlist on YouTube.

Girl walking in freedom

Q: How can I know I am saved if I’ve never had a “salvation experience”? (Joel)

A: Salvation—being saved—is being brought into a real and vital relationship with Jesus Christ. The question isn’t whether you’ve had a powerful salvation experience. While such experiences can help boost your assurance, Jesus said, “By their fruits, you shall know them.” The fruits include loving the brethren, keeping His commandments with joy, and other marks of grace. John gives 11 such marks in his first Epistle. For example, do you love the brethren? Do you keep His commandments with joy? First John is often called the Epistle of assurance. The readers of 1 John were asking the same question. In those days, Gnostics had wonderful, amazing, supernatural experiences and looked down on ordinary Christians, claiming they weren’t saved because they lacked this inner light. John tells them it’s not about experiences but about manifesting godly fruits of obedience to Jesus.

You can answer the question of assurance in three ways:

  1. Resting wholly and solely on the promises of God in Jesus Christ. Are these promises precious to you? Do you cling to them? If so, that’s a good sign you are saved.

  2. Examining your life’s fruits. For example, are you hungering and thirsting after the righteousness of Christ (Matthew 5:6)?

  3. The testimony of the Holy Spirit, which reassures you through the Word of God and over time.

The Westminster Confession of Faith gives these as foundations for assurance, and the Heidelberg Catechism emphasizes knowing your sin, fleeing to Christ, and living a life of gratitude and sanctification. If Christ is your treasure, your love, and your all, you are saved.


Q: What is the significance of infant baptism in the context of union with Christ? (Joel)

A: This question can be taken in a number of ways. Infant baptism does not save us or bring us into a saving union with Christ. It is a symbol, a sign, and a seal that those who repent of their sins and are washed with Christ’s blood, as water washes an infant, are saved in Christ. Baptism is not just for the baptized infant. The whole church family looks at it and remembers they are washed only by the blood of Christ. Baptism signifies and seals to believers that they are cleansed by Christ’s blood. In baptism, God declares His willingness to be the God of the baptized infant, provided they put their faith in Him by grace. This raises the debate within Reformed circles about presumptive regeneration, championed by Abraham Kuyper. It presumes baptized children are saved, removing the need to evangelize them. However, the majority Reformed view is that infant baptism does not save. We cannot assume salvation without evidence of repentance and faith. The Bible distinguishes between external and internal covenant relationships. External membership (e.g., being born into a covenant family) is not sufficient for salvation. Personal salvation requires being born again and brought into the internal essence of the covenant.


Q: What is your understanding of what the Bible says about alcohol? (Joel)

A: The Bible never outright condemns alcohol but warns against drunkenness and excess. Christians may enjoy a social drink in moderation, but drunkenness is sinful and must be avoided. Paul advised Timothy to take a little wine for his stomach, showing that alcohol can have a legitimate use. However, Christians should be sensitive to the consciences of others, abstaining if drinking might cause offense or harm their witness. Moderation is key. If it becomes difficult to practice moderation, it’s better to abstain altogether.

Single girl alone

Q: How do you know if God is calling you to a life of singleness? (Mary)

A: Elizabeth Elliot once said, “If you are single right now, you have the gift of singleness.” This gift reflects God’s current providence in your life. However, it doesn’t mean you’ll remain single forever.


Marriage is a beautiful, God-given institution, but it must be approached wisely. Spurgeon advised, “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage and half-shut afterward.” Pray earnestly for God’s guidance and use your single years for His glory. If you are waiting for marriage, avoid discontentment. Instead, use your time to serve God, participate in mission trips, or minister to others. Pray for a godly spouse, but don’t pine away in despair. Instead, put yourself in situations where you might meet like-minded believers, such as church or Christian gatherings. Guys should take initiative and lead in relationships, as God designed. 


Q: How can you discipline a teenager without provoking them to anger? (Mary & Joel)

A: This is a challenging stage, but prayer is vital. Teenagers can be exasperating, and maintaining calmness is key. Approach situations with love, even when it’s difficult. Remember that children are a gift from God. If anger arises, step back and take time to pray and reflect before addressing the issue. Paul teaches in the New Testament that parents should not provoke their children to anger (Ephesians 6:4). Similarly, children should seek to honor and obey their parents, as God promises blessings for honoring them. For practical guidance, the book Parenting by God’s Promises by Joel R. Beeke offers strategies on how to view children in relation to the covenant of grace. It provides insights into raising children, including handling teen anger, and gives practical steps for navigating such challenges.


Q: How do you feel about promoting your own work? (Joel)

A: When you pour thousands of hours into a book, it becomes deeply meaningful. Writing involves blood, sweat, tears, and agony, but also profound closeness to God. Over time, I’ve stopped feeling embarrassed about promoting my books and others that I believe can spiritually enrich people’s lives. My passion for selling books stems from my father’s teaching: 3 hours in church on the Lord’s Day is not enough to sustain your faith through the 168-hour week. Daily devotions in Scripture are essential, but reading biblically-based literature supports and strengthens your spiritual growth. Books have been transformative in my life, setting me at spiritual liberty, and I’ve been selling books since I was 16.


Q: To what extent can demons influence our emotions, and how do we resist them? (Joel)

A: The second question is easier: We resist Satan by using the Word of God, the sword of the Spirit. Luther resisted Satan by reminding him that Christ is his master and Savior. Satan cannot control a believer’s emotions or mind but can observe human behavior and exploit weaknesses. In some cases, prolonged sin might lead to demonic harassment or even possession, but such cases are extreme. For most believers, Satan harasses them by targeting their weaknesses. However, because Christ is your Savior, you are under His control—not Satan’s. Refuse to flirt with sin or compromise. Be diligent in prayer, immerse yourself in Scripture, and use tools like Thomas Brooks’ Precious Remedies Against Satan’s Devices.

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1 Comment


Great Q & A! Minister Beeke was lit!

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