Prayer & Sin | Q&A With Rev. Mark Jones (Part 2)

Abide was blessed to have Rev. Mark Jones of the Presbyterian Church of America speak at a 2023 Retreat at Cedar Springs Christian Retreat Center in Sumas, Washington. The theme of the retreat was “Hope for Backsliders”. The following information is a summary of the questions and answers. For all the videos from the weekend, click here for the full playlist on YouTube, including the five sessions, along with the question and answer session. 

Q: How are we to make sense of unanswered prayers for important needs?

A: That’s a good question. What I’ve found is that there’s always a reward. When we ask for something, and He says no, the reward isn’t always what we judge it to be. We mustn’t think of rewards based on what we feel the reward should be. Sometimes, the reward God gives is different from the one we think we’re asking for. Sometimes, we can understand later that what we were asking for wasn’t going to work out, or it wasn’t meant to work out, and we see God’s wisdom in it. There are times when it does work out as expected, and we think, “Yes, that’s what I prayed for.” Then there are times when we simply don’t know why God said no, and that’s okay. There is a mystery in our faith. I think the reward, at the very least, is that you’re praying and caring about spiritual things. The act of praying itself is a reward because you’re communing with God. Sometimes, the mystery of unanswered prayer doesn’t mean it’s in vain.

Q: What are the practical steps to establishing a healthy prayer life?

A: One thing I’ve found helpful is that if you ever feel the desire to pray, don’t go against that desire—unless, of course, it would cause something like a car crash. For example, don’t close your eyes while driving! But if you feel the desire to pray, respond to it. Prayer is hard enough as it is, so take advantage of those moments. If you struggle with prayer, start with little prayers throughout the day instead of trying to pray for a long, fervent session all at once. Develop a spirit of prayer through small moments, and over time, you might find yourself dedicating longer periods to prayer.

Some people find it helpful to say a quick prayer when they wake up. It doesn’t have to be long—just a way to start the day acknowledging God. Similarly, say a short prayer before bed. Be mindful that bedtime prayers can sometimes lead to falling asleep mid-prayer, so keep it concise if needed. Think of prayer as getting into shape. If you want to run a marathon, you don’t start by running 26 miles the first day. You start small and build up gradually. The same applies to prayer—build consistency over time. Also, when you tell someone, “I’ll pray for you,” pray for them right away. Otherwise, it’s easy to forget. This immediate action helps you keep your word and strengthens your prayer habits.

Q: Why does everything else feel more important than prayer sometimes?

A: I don’t know if I personally think everything feels more important than prayer, but maybe my actions sometimes suggest that. Perhaps that’s what this question is getting at: knowing prayer is important, but still not doing it. Prayer is a massive leap of faith because it’s counterintuitive. When you clean a room, you see the results immediately—dust swept up, trash taken out. When you drive someone to soccer practice, you see the tangible action. But with prayer, you’re doing something where, physically, it seems like nothing is happening. You’re moving your mouth—or maybe not—and expecting God to act. This goes against human nature. In most areas of life, we work, and the results are immediate. But when we pray, we’re trusting that God works. It requires faith to believe that prayer, which looks like “doing nothing,” is actually accomplishing everything. The devil hates prayer, and our flesh resists it. Prayer is difficult because it requires faith in God’s unseen work, not in our visible efforts.

Q: What does the neglect of corporate prayer look like in a church?

A: Neglecting corporate prayer means people don’t gather to pray together. In our church, we’re spread out geographically, so we have strategically located Bible studies throughout the week. After the studies, we include a time of prayer. It’s important to have prayer in Bible studies and in worship services. Good prayers in the worship service set the tone for prayer in other areas, like Bible studies and homes. What happens on the Lord’s Day should trickle down into daily life. For example, children should see prayer as a normal part of life because they witness it at church and at home. The pastor’s seriousness about prayer sets the example. The prayers offered during worship should challenge people to think deeply and biblically. Corporate prayer doesn’t exist in isolation—it’s interconnected with worship, study, and family life. It starts from the pulpit and spreads outward into all aspects of the church community.

Q: Is there a framework for developing grace similar to the stages of developing sin?

A: Yes, you could flip the stages of sin and see how they apply to grace and righteousness. For example, sinful inclinations can be replaced with righteous inclinations. A good inclination to bless a brother is a holy motive. From there, you deliberate on how to perform the act, carry it out, and then experience satisfaction. Instead of boasting about the act, you feel thankfulness and humility, acknowledging that it’s only by God’s grace that you can do good. Finally, you aim for deliberate repetition, making the good act a pattern in your life. The stages of sin, when reversed, illustrate how righteousness can grow through intentional actions, gratitude, and humility.

Q: Are there degrees of sin, and how should we think about the aggravation of sins?

A: Yes, there are degrees of sin, which the Bible and even society recognize. For example, taking a grape from a grocery store is different from stealing a car. Similarly, yelling a bad name at someone is different from physically harming them. Aggravation of sins considers the harm caused to others and the context of the sin. For instance, a minister gambling away church funds impacts not only his family but also the congregation, making it a graver sin than an individual gambling away $100. The Bible speaks to degrees of sin, such as when Jesus says that those who handed Him over are guilty of the greater sin. There’s also the concept of judgment being harsher for those who’ve been given greater revelation and responsibility. Understanding degrees of sin helps us appreciate the seriousness of certain actions and the ripple effects they have on others.

Q: Are there practical examples of how sin hardens the heart over time?

A: Yes, there are many examples. For instance, some people think that indulging in pornography is a “lesser” sin than fornication, so they justify it as a way to avoid physical adultery. However, studies have shown that pornography use can lead to emotional and relational dysfunction, including addiction and even physical consequences like erectile dysfunction in men. The same principle applies to other forms of self-medication, like alcohol abuse. Someone might drink to cope with anxiety, thinking it’s a temporary fix. Over time, though, this reliance leads to dependency, greater anxiety, and harm to relationships. These patterns show how sin doesn’t solve problems—it compounds them. True freedom and healing come only through repentance and reliance on God’s grace.

Q: Are there ways to counteract the stages of sin with deliberate acts of righteousness?

A: Yes. The stages of sin can be reversed to reflect how righteousness develops. For example:

1. Inclination: A sinful inclination can be replaced with a holy inclination, such as a desire to bless or help someone.

2. Deliberation: Instead of planning a sinful act, you consider how to carry out a righteous one.

3. Action: You perform the good deed.

4. Aftermath: Instead of boasting, you feel gratitude and humility, recognizing that it was God’s grace that enabled you to do good.

5. Repetition: You make the righteous act a pattern, seeking to replicate it in your life.

Developing grace and righteousness requires intentional effort and reliance on the Holy Spirit. It’s not just about avoiding sin but actively pursuing godliness.